I'm not so naive, my sorry eyes can see
The way you fight shy of almost everything
Well, if you give up,
You'll get what you deserve





i wasted the whole of my weekends, really.
but at least i know how to do graphs now,
so throw in the 12 marks for my math babeh!
12 marks = frigging two grades!

so anyway I went to RAW/ROAR WITH ME at FAD studio yesterday
because Audiocean had the 5pm slot.
OH EM GEEEE, AUDIOCEAN!!!!!!!!!!
im not going to Baybeats this year so yesterday's gig
compensates for not getting to watch them at Baybeats.
so yay me!

i spent seven bucks to hear Audiocean
(though i couldnt really hear Sarah),
CHRISTOPHER-GROSSE-THE-MESMERIZING-VOICE-GUY from Sunny's Violet Rays,
Seasonscape, Nabeel's band (lol), Waiting For Nothing,
and another band and another band.
ok im satisfied!

Jacob Alistaaaair called me yesterday,
and he was like,
"Hello, zany? Christopher Grosse here."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA WTH JACOB?! FAIL

but seriously his (CG) voice is mesmerizing to the maxxxx,
even Audrey was bewildered and kept repeating,
"WHY ARE THEY STILL PERFORMING AT THESE KIND OF PLACES?!
THEY SHOULD PERFORM SOMEWHERE ELSE!
THEY DESERVE BETTER!"
(referring to Sunny's Violet Rays)

see! seeeeee?!??!! i knew it!

and i totally hate myself now because i left early,
at around seven plus,
and when i left my brother said
(ahhem) Christopher Grosse was looking for me
cause he wanted to take a picture with meeeeeeeeeeeee

and it was such a waste cause i was wearing my awesome lion teeee

and he had a stupid flower on his head hahaha wtf
i want to cry already aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh
and hes probably reading this but i dont care
i want to cry already aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


...

okay done crying!

life goes on!

i totally screwed my Bio SPA SKILL 3 thingy.
im not going to talk about it.
Mr Anand was so contradicting.
first he said we have to use a water plant
and then he said we have to
use all the apparatus provided in the list
but is Balsam plant like, a water plant?
IF IT IS A WATER PLANT, I SUCK! EPIC FAIL.

popped over at Aiden's place after the SPA thing
and jammed for about two hours.
we recorded a snippet of My Heart by Paramore
(what the hell, i can sing it HAHAHA i didnt know!)
but it sounds so nasal nasal nasal credits to my killer flu.
ive been having flu since the beginning of the week.
and i feel sick every night, but im not!
help! whats wrong?! )=

anyway i love Aiden very much!
he's good company, pretty awesome,
even though he threw a box out of the window from the 17th storey.
i screamed at him and accused him of killing a cat.
i mean, seriously!
im not a fan of cats but a box can kill a poor cat! I KNOW!
...but then again, cats have nine lives.
so it only matters if that cat is living its ninth life right?
and the probability of that is like, 1 over 9.
so i dont have to worry so much, i guess.

so even if Aiden's a murderer
he's still my friend so yeah.
got home at eight or something
cause we went all the way to my school's neighbourhood
to get mashed potatoes and Transformer watches
and we missed the bus cause
we saw Raymond and Kin Lok
and the Sheng guy (who remembers my name!)
and we ran to them to say hi! =D
yay childhood friends are loved! hahaha!


AAAAAAAAAAH
IVE APPLIED FOR DIRECT POLY ADMISSION AND
MY APPLICATION (THE 600 CHARACTERS THINGY) WAS SOOO MEEE
SO IM GONNA BE REALLY UPSET IF I DONT GET IN!
my tutor reckons i should think of a Plan B,
and if all else fails, Plans C and D!
but im such a loser, im totally pinning all my hopes on DPA
which is kinda stupid on my part.


awww my entries are getting shorter
and im pretty much out of pictures.
im sorryyyyy!
and look, it's 10.51pm but im already drained!
i didnt even do much today!
AND I ACTUALLY SLEPT FOR THREE HOURS IN THE AFTERNOON.
GAH.

i think i'd like to drain myself out on weekdays
and get all the rest i can get on weekends.
not a bad idea, eh?
there's still tuition on weekends
so it's not like im going to be a free bird or anything, psh.

okay im out, good night!
thanks for the tags, people,
spread the love, hahaha
btw i think i'll acknowledge love tags too,
not just the hate tags.
cause it would be really stuck up of me
to ignore compliments and all, wouldnt it?





well well, aren't un-envious people totally nice?
i like nice people, really.

im sorry, this entry's quite a disappointment!
luv u!

Happy 16th birthday
to four of the most awesome people on the planet!
*hugs Shaffiqa Sulaiman, Shari Ismail,
Vania Kristella and Khairul Anwar til theyre reduced to dust*
I LOVE YOU TO BITS AND PIECES!

why is it that every single time my writings get featured,
my name is always always always mispelt?!?!
i mean, NURUAL SYDZWANI?!?!?!

plus there were quite a number of parts that got edited.
i mean, whoever used the word 'knotty'?!?!
wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf

aaaaaahhhh shit happens!

Bet you never knew I had this.

I've never been comfortable with revealing it
because it contains my inner-most feelings.
It's quite random and redundant,
but it comes from my heart. (=

tag replies!
ok what the heck i keep replying tags haha

but people keep asking about the Threadless thing

and i feel the need to reply )=

paddlehappy: aiyah all men's clothes ahhhh!
-: HAHAHA WHAT! seriously?! HAHAHA FUNNY!
FATIN: eh idk uh! i ordered through a friend. check on the website under FAQ?
nab: hello nab! (which nab are you?) hahaha, thanks for dropping by!
just a passerby: thats why uh, bodoh to the max. YEAH I LOVE LIONS, AAAAAH! DOESNT EVERYONE?! =D
maizurah: REMOVE IT??!?! *gasps* you sure?! then you wouldnt be able to leave lovely little messages for me! ♥ so no, im leaving it as it is.

that reminds me!

my brother: when want to watch Transformers again?
me: uh?! watch again?!?!? NOOOOOO
my brother: i asked mom lah!
me: (turns to mom, bewildered) YOU WANT TO WATCH AGAIN!?!?!?!
mom: eh! i told you what, ive fallen in love with Optimus Prime!
me: ......
my stupid brother: (turns to me) yeah, like how youve fallen in love with Simba (lion king).
me: BUT SIMBA IS REAL!

and then everyone was like "....." hahahaha wth.

and then i showed mom my lion tee
and i was like, "OMG SO HANDSOME RIGHT, I CAN JUST MARRY HIM!"
and mom was like, "what?!"
but she agreed that the lion is handsome!
YAY!
my brother thinks theres seriously
something wrong with me but i beg to differ.
oh well.

I've hoped for change, and it gets better everyday
I've hoped for change, but still I feel the same



it often amuses me;
the magnitude of certain people's naïvety/stupidity
when they think they know me
just because they spend their hours faithfully reading my blog.

yesterday i told my tutor that i dont understand why
'often' is pronounced as "offen" and not "ofTEN" .
i said i wasnt very happy about that.

to tell you the truth, ive spent my whole life pronouncing
often as ofTen because i think it sounds better that way.
and it is SPELT that way.
it wouldnt make sense to make the T a silent one
because it's so beautifully prominent in the word.

kind of silly, but my tutor then said,
"oh yeah. we pronounce soften as sofTEN not soffen, eh."
i dont know about you but
im pretty much going to say often the way it's spelt for,
the rest of my life.
embrace the silent Ts of the world!!!!!!!!!

so anyway, im overflowing with tags about my entry
"hate tag analyzing adventure 1" .
you all so funny lah! hahahaha! (L)(L)

but one boy was even funnier.
apparently, the boy tagged as 'boy' (lol DUHHH) and said,
"bodoh pe, bdk tu hantar kau hate tag abeh happy.
kau kene jumpe doctor siol."

translation:
"stupid or what, that person send you hate tag then happy.
you need to see doctor siol."

uhhh, actually, ive already explained in my entry,
around the second paragraph,
"okay so i know im supposed to be ignoring tags like these
but i cant help getting excited cause im into literature and all
so analyzing things is quite exhilirating for me
but im having trouble trying to understand this one!"

did you miss that out?
or did you fail to understand the very simplistic words i used?

im perfectly alright, as a matter of fact.
i believe im sane though it may appear otherwise to other people.
i like to analyze things that others say, or things that catch my attention.
dont ask why, its just something my mind does involuntarily.
ive done it all my life and most of the time
i find that certain people dont make sense when they talk.
(like you ah)
so yeah dont worry too much about me.
i'll see a doctor when i have flu or something, alright?


meanwhile...




Paramore's releasing 'Brand New Eyes' on September 29th?
serious shit?!?!?!
OH GREAT NOW I CANT BREATHE

oh my god, you guyssssss!!!!!
ive got a hate tag!!!!!!!

i showed it to Yusri and here's our conversation:




so here's the tag!



okay so i know im supposed to be ignoring tags like these
but i cant help getting excited cause im into literature and all
so analyzing things is quite exhilirating for me
but im having trouble trying to understand this one!

ok so it's tagged by a Maizurah.
i dont really care which Maizurah this is
cause i only know one Maizurah in my life
and shes from my school.

we're not close but we've talked a few times before

and she's really nice and I KNOW FOR SURE IT ISNT HER. (=
so either way no Maizurahs in the world
know me well personally so this tag is probably very crappy.
but we'll see.
let's analyze!!!!!

so yeah she mentioned that im very lame.
okay that part i can accept ah.
HAHAHAHA

okay "feeling2 hannah montana got double life"
i dont get that part but i recall blogging once,

"ever since Ahdila and i watched Hannah Montana the movie together,
she cant stop sighing melodramatically and saying stupid things like,
"why cant i lead a normal Miley life?"
and i constantly have to remind her that helloooo,
Miley leads a double life!!!!
and for all we know it could be more catastrophic
than whatever shit the government and school are hurling at us now.
sigh, the story of our lives."

okayyyyyy, so i dont think Hannah Montana's double-life life
has much to do with me but
according to what i blogged in that entry
i wasnt being "feeling2" or anything
and i didnt claim to have a double life
(which is what i think this maizurah is implying).

as for the "nk act nerdy tu smua"
okay so this is probably from the same entry as the miley's double life.
this entry (click)

i tried to act nerdy in the picture
and i admitted myself it was a failed attempt.
and to tell you the truth i dont actually need to act nerdy
cause deep inside ive always been a nerd,
that is, if you deem bookworms nerds.
but what i meant in that entry was
i was trying to LOOK nerdy.
and what is wrong with trying to look nerdy in a particular camwhore session,
i mean, at least i have a concept

and be creative.
-___-
oh well. people dont understand so yeah whatever

ok next sentence!
"u have a gr8 voice" OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH *HUGS*
(L)(L)(L)
(personality type 'I' always thrives when complimented,
so im thriving now. hahahaha wtf)

"but dont over can? when you over, ppl dont like you.
so dont. dont be that kerek."
okayyyy i need help in this.
i have a great voice, but i 'over'.
define 'over'. as in, over react? over react how?
over whaaaaat?
as in, 'melebih' lah? like very 'act' like that is it?
ok firstly, i dont brag about my singing or whatnot.

in fact at times i dont even understand why
people even make a big deal about it lah.

ive even voiced this out to Ahdila,

that i dont get it, why do people seem to like it

when there are more amazing people,

and she didnt know the reason why either.

cause when i hear people like Hayley Williams
or even the Hey Monday girl
i feel so impressed by their range
but when i listen to mine its really pathetic.
so yeah, if youre saying i 'over' cause i upload youtube videos and all,
go search "me singing" on the youtube search engine
and see how many covers people do per day.

wow, the whole world is over-ing!

as the saying goes, "if youve got it, flaunt it."
i realize that i like singing.
i enjoy singing and
its probably the only thing that i love doing, til death.
and for some foreboding reason, people like my singing,
and i appreciate the fact that they do.

so, ive got it.
flaunt it!

you'll find your talent someday, dont worry, honey.
dont have to spite people who've found theirs.
and if youve found yours, flaunt it!
YOU GO GIRRRRL! (ok last part tak perlu hahah)


and for the kerek part,
i'd appreciate it if someone tagged me the meaning of kerek.
is that even a registered word?
i once asked Shari and then i got laughed at by Sue.
)=
HAHAHA and that was last year.
until today i have no idea what it means.
sigh, the sad life i lead.
HAHAHAHA

ok im going out to spend some quality time with my brother.
have fun on your holiday in-lieu!!!!!!


oh wait!
tag reply to passerby: i spent around $121 on six tees!
and fatin, malay oral? i havent taken? when uh?!?!?
i'll tag the others on your respective blogs alright!
(L) byeee!

"Do you have doubts about life?
Are you unsure if it is really worth the trouble?

Look at the sky: that is for you.
Look at each person's face as you pass on the street: those faces are for you.
And the street itself, and the ground under the street,
and the ball of fire underneath the ground: all these things are for you.
They are as much for you as they are for other people.
Remember this when you wake up in the morning
and think you have nothing."



- Miranda July
"No One Belongs Here More Than You"



image by laletizia

Three little birds sat on my window
And they told me I don't need to worry




soooo, term three has barely started
and im feeling drained already.
it'll take a miracle to survive nightclasses
plus going home at six every day, starting next week.
oh yes, to top it off, mock exams every Tuesday. yeah. great.

today started with a change of English teacher.
i am crestfallen.
with Miss Suhailys gone,
who's going to dote on me?!?!
)=
SIGHHHHH, fresh new start.

if the change of English teacher isnt bad enough,
my biology teacher you-know-who actually rubbed his armpit with my pen.
i wanted to disinfect it but i couldnt bare to,

its my favourite pen!!!
and i have this secret habit of tapping the top of the pen
on my teeth when im deep in thoughts.
i cant do that anymore, it seems. )=

after school we had this Malay oral training thingy.
i think theyre supposed to boost our confidence or give us tips or something.
mom got really pissed when i gave her the consent form to sign,
she totally hates my school now, yay!
she said theyre always taking things seriously

only at the last minute,
which is so true.
i mean, O's orals is next week

and only today we're being given training.
hahaha go and die ah.

so yeah the programme was split into two.
the first half was awesome, i died laughing quite a few times.
i dont know why im still living and breathing now
but really, i died laughing!
i know Sue died too cause she her shoulders kept vibrating
even after everyone has stopped laughing at the trainer's jokes!
hahahahaha

anyway the trainer was talking about how girls
will always speak softly and quietly and
behave like malu-malu monster when theyre with their boyfriends.
and i totally denied even though i dont own a boyfriend or anything!!!
i mean, relationships are way cuter
when a couple jokes around and makes fun of each other, right?
you dont have to always be manja and flirtatious whaaaaat.
that sucks the fun out of everything!

the second half of the programme was pretty awesome too
even though something filled me with consternation
and pretty much made me lose my mood for the rest of the day.

so yeah the trainer for the second half is
some actor who's been in business for like 27 years.
frankly i'd never seen him before
but i dont actually watch Suria channel so yeah.
i dont even watch TV. -___-

anyway. he called on some people to like,
stand and introduce themselves,
tell their age, and their ambition.
i was hoping he would call me so i'd get it over and done with but he didnt.
during the last half-hour we played this game or something
where one person is called out to be 'interviewed'.
its all make-believe and they had to pretend theyre 'on air' and all that.

so the trainer came up with some random and nonsensical topic
and Mud was chosen to go first.
Mud's topic was something about playing the tabla (?)
yeah tabla or something
and it later became tampang?!
i dont know, really, i was laughing the whole time.
hey, its Mud right?
he was amazing at it, really.
hes just so spontaneous and smooth, its almost breathtaking.

and for some harebrained reason
he just HAD to pick me to go next.
i couldnt decline.
and if you know me you'd probably know how atrocious i am
at think-on-your-feet activites.
so we had to pretend we were on air and the trainer asked me,
"how does it feel to be voted a bitch and even winning Paris Hilton?"

its not just the question that stunned me,
i mean, ive been called bitch in reality quite a few times.
and i fully understand that he was just playing around.
but get this, the whole conversation was in Malay.
how was i supposed to be spontaneous in Malay?
and furthermore, SPEAK!

so yeah i totally blanked out. i swear i couldnt think.
not even a word. it was embarrassing, really.

but that isnt even the worst part.
when i just couldnt talk he changed the question to,
"whats the difference between blur king and blur sotong,
... and blur block, since you are one?"
in Malay, of course.

and i was like knnccb how the hell was i supposed to verbalize?!
at that point i hated myself, really.
and then he said i could speak in English if i wanted to.
and suddenly my thoughts were like TING TING *lighbulb comes on*
and then i realized that
even in English i couldnt think of a difference
between blur king and blur sotong.
... and blur block.

he did mention that i was a blur block,

so wouldnt it make perfect sense for me to be blur? -__-

i couldnt even make up a nonsensical statement
and thats pretty much how pathetic i am
when it comes to on-the-spot speaking.
i mean, im not really a funny person in the first place.
eventually he gave up on me because i simply couldnt speak.
so yeah i got off the chair and sat on the floor
and before i knew it he started accusing me of having no self-esteem.

and my lips were quivering,
no one had ever commented that on me before.
i mean, no self-esteem?
whats that supposed to mean?
if i didnt have self-esteem then
i dont think i'd have the guts
to express my thoughts through blogging, right?
i wont have the guts to sing publicly, right?
what in the sam hill does uncertainty in speaking
have to do with self-esteem altogether?

his words were like a shot to the heart, really.
and the whole room was like, frigging silent
while he talked about how having no self-esteem is a total disadvantage.
i was like, huh really is he serious,
because earlier on he said to Shaffiqa
she's got low self-confidence, which is kind of dumb,
because for goodness sake, it's Shaffiqa.

and just because im slow and hopeless

when i think on my feet, in any language,
it doesnt mean im someone with no self-esteem, kay.
i was solemn during the whole ride home
because i couldnt stop pondering.
i mean, i dont know.

aaaaaah. frust siaaaaaak

thank goodness there was Yusri to make me certain
that im really not suffering from some

no-self-esteem disease thing.
seriously.


anyway just the other day i was walking and walking,
quite confidently, i might add,
and then i started to wonder why peoples' eyes
kept following me wherever i walked.
at first i brushed the thought off because, i know,
who'd want to look at me? what's there to look at right? hahahaha

so i kept walking and walking and when i reached home
i realized that the whole of the back of skirt was bloodstained.
i was like, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!"
no, actually, i just went, "fuck!" then i forgot all about it.
HAHAHAHAHA
it was perfectly revolting, really.
my skirt looked like some tiedye design with green and red
HAHAHAHA OK WTF
i cant believe i can make a joke out of this hahahaha


so yeah im actually pretty loaded with homework
so im wondering why im blogging.
but i like blogging so to hell with homework.
(okay okay i'll do it later, i promise)

Threadless really needs to send the refund like NOW.
you know what?!
the tees i ordered got lost in transit or whatever their lameshit reason was.
oh em gee and to think i waited and waited for five weeks or so.
and now ive got to wait about another month for the refund itself.
idiot.
aaandd im depending on Hottopic and Chaoscircus now, for tees.
hahahaha


oooookay till here then.
the girl who lacks self-esteem is off to do her homework.
-____-
*menghela nafas yang super panjang*


g'night!

This is how we'll dance when,
When they try to take us down.
This is what will be
Oh glory




as you can see, i got me a new layout!
REJOICE!!!!!!
procrastination brings absolute joy to my soul! (?)

so ive completed my chemistry homework!
and a BIT of one set of math paper two.
so ive got a full POA set, 3.5 math paper 2, and english summary left!
thats not so bad!
(pffft, trying to look on the bright side here)

however, considering school starts in less than half a day,
ive pretty much got a few things to worry about.
thank god i've washed my shoes.
they're white now!

for some stupid reason i became partially blind last night.
my spectacles were in two, idk what happened, really!
me and Madi were lazing around on my bedroom floor
and then i sat up to wipe my spectacles and they just broke into two!

okay FINE they didnt break im exaggerating.
the screws came loose or something.
honestly i was quite disappointed.
i thought i would have a chance to get a new pair of spectacles.
i saw a pair, they're pink!
not those baby pink pink, its those really hot pink pink
that makes me shiver with delight! WHOO!

oh yes, if not wearing spectacles was bad enough,
Oxy face wash thing got into my eyes! )=
IT BURNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNS




okay im hungry.
i probably should be completing the remains of my homework
but i really dont feel like it.

my tutor counted - 14 weeks til the first week of October.
which means Prelims is somewhere in between.
ive freaked out centuries ago so im feeling rather nonchalant now.
a little shocked, but not shocked enough to actually start studying hard.
what is wrong with me?
i need to pull myself together and then push myself to 13 points at most.

mom gave me a hundred bucks out of the blue today.
im quite relieved! *wipes sweat*
now i can get film!
and i found a roll in my drawer
i dont remember which one that is hahahaha!
i probably should get it processed to see!
ah yes, now i can get tees from Chaoscircus. praise the skiesssssssss~


so yes the latest news is that the King of Pop has gone.
gone too soon, i might say.
it took the world by surprise, obviously.
and now at almost every site you land in, you can see his face.
or hear one of his songs.
why?
everyone had all the time in the world
to love and worship and cherish and ogle at him.
why do so only when he's gone?

it's strange isnt it, how he was taken advantage of when he was around,
and when he's gone, the world just turns upside down.

only now do people take him seriously
and say kind and loving words about him.
when he was alive,
the people were accusatory,
pointing fingers at him and calling him a rapist.
why is it that only when hes gone
do people start playing his music
and watching his music videos?
you had his whole lifetime to shower him with fanmail and love.

i dont grief for his loss.
i grief for the life he had to lead
under the pressure of the press and everything else.
i suppose this goes to show that,
to put it simply,
we just have to cherish one another.
before it's too late.


...and really, that statement reflects alot on me. =/


well welllllllllllll, on to happier things.
im quite contented with how life is at the moment.

(not because i just got a hundred bucks ok puhleeeease)
ive been selfish at some points, i cant deny.
but lets not turn this entry into a self-deprecatory one.
i'll make this as jovial as possible because hey,
school's reopening tomorrow.
i need all the happiness i can get.


my fingers are itching to do a cover of Unbeautiful by Lesley Roy!
oh em geeeee, should i should i should i should i??!?!?!!?!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Sunny's Violet Rays gig on 5th July!
when is 5th July?!?!?!
IT'S THIS SUNDAY!!!!!
SHOULD I SHOULD I SHOULD I SHOULD I?!?!?!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i'd very much like to blog about the time
Ahmad Izzat farted into my face but i'd rather not
for fear of karma. hahahaha

i wish some event like Geek Gig Week
will be held again later this year.
im definitely not going to organize another event again.
seriously.
heart pain, you know. hahaha.

the school really needs excitement.
heck, we'll probably spend National Day in the hall again.
i miss 2006 when the whole school squeezed in the concourse
and sang our hearts out and had a lucky draw
and a food and fun fair.
and everything felt so right,
i felt like i was part of a big thing; a big and loving family.

the school isnt like a school now.
it's like some random dilapidated building
i go to every day because i am supposed to.
even if i get paid to,
i cant think of anything nice to say about the school.

there's just nothing else to look forward to,
furthermore with H1N1 lingering.
(speaking of which, thank goodness cross country is cancelled!)

ah good news.
my hair's screwed now.
HAH!

ah i keep forgetting to blog about this.
sometime ago i received a text.

F: hello!
Zany: do i know you?
F: yes you know me! we live quite near to each other.
your sch at jurongville. your name syazwani. your bro is syazwan.
you wear specs. your nick is zany MUAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHUHUHUHUHU!!!!!
(Seriously he typed that)
Zany: Sorry you got the wrong number.
F: THEN WHO YOU!
Zany: Ching Chong Fan yumyum. (AHDILA MADE ME TYPE THIS.)
F: ZANY!!!!!! You know (hisname)?
Zany: No, i dont know! Im ching chong fan!!!
F: oi gile! hahahaha
Zany: What gile? I really duno you! Who the hell is (hisname) ? What a weird name
F: okay fine. i change lah. im char kway teow. Nice to meet you chee chong fun.
Zany: Who is chee chong fun? I am ching chong fan. You got the wrong number
F: alah spell wrongly lah. U ching chong fan.
Zany: ok bye
F: weiiiii i wana talk to u lah! what bye!

-_________________-

what the what the what the
ok that whole portion was pointless hahaha.
gah this probably the worst blog entry ever written.
hence, i apologize.

ooooh bedtime in an hour!
i simply must go!
hahahaha

good night! have fun in school tomorrow!
... if you can.

OH MY GOD IT'S RADYAMANSYAH BIN(TE) JAMALUDDIN
AKA RADY AKA R4DY AKA AMAN AKA SYAH
AKA GBF FRVR'S BIRTHDAY AND HE DIDNT TELL ME!!!!
no matter!!!! better late than never!!!
hahaha chey rady 17 already!!!!

dear rady! (hahahahaha!)
lets push asidethe fact that ive known you for less than a year,

because it feels much much much longer than that, really!

and i know you feel that way too cause youre a stalker etc
amazing how it all started from
a friendster comment regarding unicorns eh?
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

so yessss, thanks for tolerating my bratty behaviour
most of the time when many people
(except Ahdila because she loves me to bits and pieces)
wouldve just pushed me away.
and thanks for literally dragging me out of the house
on my sixteenth birthday just because
you think people shouldnt stay home
on their sweet sixteen.

so let me see, i owe you a movie plus lunch
but you still owe me ice-cream, right,
and youre going to pay for all

the lionshuttering/jamming sessions right?!?!?!
YES!!!!!

i dont know why im talking so much,
maybe its cause Rady's not online
and hes lazing on his sofa now like some pig
and since hes not online im typing everything i need to say here
cause i type really slow when texting. )=
and for some foreboding reason Syaifullah and i
are communicating through email!
WTF WHY ARE TALKING THROUGH EMAIL YOU IDIOT
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

okay out of point.
happy birthday Rady!
have fun being 17, a cheerleader, and a gay best friend!
(=




ps. my family is having some sort of gathering tonight. since mom is now serious about the computers being switched off at 11pm SHARP, i must oblige. so we're gonna watch Transformers 1 because Megan Fox's real hot and all. i suggested we all squeeze in mom's bed cause theres a TV and a CD player in her room but she said im ridiculous which im not! )= im not, right?

Newpaper taxis appear on the shore
Waiting to take you away
Climb in the back with your head in the clouds
And you're gone






THESE MADE MY WEEK:



HELLO CHERUBICAAAAAA~
ive been trying to stop myself from watching this
because once i start i'll keep hitting the replay button
and it goes on and on and on until my bedtime!

i like to see arai's face overflowing with emotion!

hahaha idk the whole thing's just so enjoyable i like it i like it
i never get tired!!!!





this is hilarious too!



it was the assistant's fault! HAHAHAHA







one word: FAIL







FUZZ DREW ME!
im actually quite simple to draw!
i dont have much details, hahaha!
and wtf?
Fuzz just called me Nurul Zebra.
BUT IM A LION *eyes shimmer with tears*






this made my brother and i laugh our lungs out!
adorable, really! and that :3 smiley face at the end
HAHAHA OMG CUTE OR WHAT!







hahaha, first im a cupcake, now im 'a wood'.

but the last time i checked,
i was a human being. i could be wrong though!
HAHAHAHAHA



guess what!
i screwed the MYOB exam today.
i dont know what went wrong but the stupid thing just wont balance
and the system wouldnt let me reconcile.
i dont want to be an accountant when i grow up,
that career path will NEVER cross my mind,
plus i took this exam against my will
so yeah, i doubt i'd be bothered if i dont get a distinction.
no big dew, mic mac mew.


i ditched school to spend the day with mom and bro yesterday,
hahahaha awesome.
we watched Transformers.
i dreaded watching it so much because
the last time i watched Transformers in the cinema
i felt like dying. it just wasnt my thing.
and my brother was there beside me,
so yayapapaya and immune to
the torture i had to endure for the whole couple of hours.
i'd sooner watch a painful horror film.
i was silently praying that there wouldnt be any slots
so we'll get to watch Drag Me To Hell instead but tough luck zany.

eh but Transformers wasnt so bad, really.
i like it!
this is crazy!
me, Transformers?!
hahahaha!
and today i had a debate with a few people -
who's hotter, Megan Fox or the alien girl who tried to shag Sam?
i placed my bets on Megan Fox
but every guy in the universe seemed to vote for alien girl.
why?


anyway halfway through the climax i had to pee.
wtf?!
it's so perfectly typical of my bladder
to want to burst and spray pee everywhere
just when the most exciting things are happening around me.
in the end i let my bladder win so i ran out of the cinema and pee-ed.
i mean, i looked for the toilet to pee lah
not run outside then pee ah never mind

anyway i got myself a pair of jeans for nineteen bucks!
WHOO!
and the other day i was rummaging
the coat closet and guess what i found?
a black leather jacket, a faded denim jacket,
and another denim jacket!
i went, holy shit holy shit holy shit for the rest of the day
because i didnt know my parents were so cool.
i mean, first the $2 Australian jumpers and now these?!
it's not like i would ever wear the jackets,
but the thought of my parents owning them felt good. somehow.

my mother told me that her colleague (aged 21) said to her
that lately, she's been observing many youngsters
having DSLRs and such,
slung around their necks or their shoulders.
to my mom's horror (and mine), her colleague told her
that she thought it was very cool and stylish
and BEGGED HER DAD to get a camera for her.

this is one of the things i meant
when i blogged my june 06 entry,
"the wonders of a shower".
cameras are becoming more and more like accessories.

i dont give a damn if you disagree with my point of view,
thats your problem.

no one's stopping you from taking your stand,
but obviously, my point is proven.
just because everyone's doing it,
it doesn't mean you have to do it, too.
just because it's cool,
doesn't mean you're not already cool B-)
chey idk what im saying, really hahahaha


and yes!
how can a lady aged twenty-one WITH A JOB
beg her father for something to be worn for the sake of looking good?
we're not talking about $1 jelly bangles here, alright.
we're talking about $1000 - $545214317241122123692514754-worth cameras!
i dont even ask my parents for things i want!
and on rare occassions that i do,
the stuff are worth what, six bucks?!

i dont have a job and i shop with my money.
i get thirty bucks a week and
i dont see anything to complain about
unlike girls who get 200bucks a month
and have the nerve to get all teary-eyed and complaintive.
yes, it happens, right in my face,
and it takes every ounce of strength i have
to stop myself from reaching out and strangling that whoever.



moving on!
i wonder if any of you caught my blog entry last night.
gah, melodramatic much.

i know Sofia saw it cause she told me the meaning of kedondong.
apparently it's some fruit.
it sounds like a Traditional Malay something.
okay i really dont have anything to blog about.
ive been the most aggravated soul
in the whole macrocosm (whatever that means haha)
because i simply refuse to do any homework
and i stay superglued to to the computer
when there isnt even anything interesting on the net!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME TELL ME!

so yeah, homework to be done by Monday:
▲ FOUR Math Paper 2s
▲ one full set of POA
▲ Chemistry W1-6
▲ Chemistry Revision Worksheet

so much for being inspired after going through
three days of Project Super Achievers. =/
my willpower is no where to be found.

im kicking two math paper 2s off the list today.
i dont know how but i will.
i feel the power!!!!

truthfully, i suspect this is all wishful thinking.
so wish me luck



anyway, a big hug to those who bothered to tag!!!


(that pathetic and sad ball of yellow would be YOU...
if you tagged hahahaha)

ps. anyone wanna head to Ikea with me? im in need of fun

another day wasted,
another twenty-four hours closer to the big O's.
dearest Zany, in the words of Your Demise,
the clocks aren't ticking backwards.

why can't you get that through your thick skull?
why?
fuck it.

tonight i read my nineteen-year-old brother bedtime stories.

tag reply to various taggers:
pictures in my blog are taken with
Canon Powershot A560/ DSLR/ Diana F+/ Holga (GCFN)/ Webcam.
mostly with Canon Powershot.
all edited at picnik.com.

tag reply to shahira:
some are Nikon D80 and a few are D90.
nope, not mine. Diana F+'s is my brother's.
(=